Chapter 1: London Bridge is falling down...

“Awhr yuuu lissenain yeah? Du yuu fawking heeah meah, yeah? Du yuu saee meah dahmm eet? Estelle!” She bellowed, inching closer and closer to my dark-skinned face. I kept gazing at the night scene, ignoring her sullen words. Couples walked outside hand in hand, like my mum and dad used to. That memory…
She was waiting for an answer. That memory – it was gone with the snap of her short fingers. She breathed in my face, like a sleeping dragon. It smelled of fuckin’ ciggys.
“Whoiy is yoawh fayce loike thaht? ‘ave yuu been wawshinit?” She asked me for the three millionth time. She thought pimples on my face were diseases.
“Have you been brushing your teeth, you smoking…?”
“Wah ‘id yuu saye? Speek up! Wah ‘id yuu saye”?
I didn’t respond – on purpose.
“Estelle– Wah…did…yuu…saye…” She backed away from my face. Her words punched me like a warrior in battle. Her raspy tone was as stern as the fiend next door. He was safe still. But he was a heavy smoker too.
“Nun,” I said with bother. “Shit,” I whispered to myself, hoping she didn’t hear me.
“I naeed tu tawk tu yuu. Luuk intu moiy oiyz,” She said with a serious voice. I thought she was clownin’.
“Luuk!”
I looked for a millisecond and then turned back to the night scene outside. I hated looking at her. It pissed me off. It shook me. It made me angry. It made me miserable.
“Lissen vary cahrefuhllee. Yuu been tawkin’ tu yowh fawtha innit…”
“No shit Sherlock.” I was thinking out loud.
“’e ‘as poisunned yohr moind abot meah get meah.” She spoke with rage.
“Has he really? I thought you did, yeah. You know, when you pushed me away,” I was whispering.“
’e’s wit anothah woman because of you. ‘e despoizes me ‘cause o’ u. ‘e left this ‘ouse…’cause o’ you.” She pointed at me.
“Oh, I thought that was your fault, when you thought you could put him on lockdown,” I almost slipped.
“Yuu naeed tu stray inhn up. Fix yor attitude. It gets yuu intu troubuhl, ‘speshleah wit maeh – yah owne muhva. Yah owne muhva.” She pointed at herself.
“You have nuff things to fix, get me? Why are you talking about me”? I whispered.
“Wha ‘ave oiy dunn tu yu? Wha ‘ave oiy dunn? Oiy ‘ave dunn nuthin wrohng. Nuthin.”
“Is that right? What about the time you bruised my entire back?” I was holding back my tears, staring at the low ceiling.
“Yuu arh troiyin ta keeouhl meah. Yuu murdrer. Yuu ‘ave suhm ‘atred towahrds maeh ahnd it naeeds tu stohp. Dount croiy, ‘cawse when Oiy’m deadt, yuu’ll bae varee‘appy. Yu’ll bae smoilin’ ohva moiy grave…”
A tear slipped from my watery eyes and not because I’d miss her. I was angry at her - that stupid bitch! I was so angry at her. My head was exploding with ire, seeeeen. My hands were clenched into fists, ready to clash. Ill will roared from my tattered soul. I put my head down. Teardrops plummeted to their deaths. She wasn’t my mum anymore. She was just a nobody.
“…roight besoide yor deadt sistah. If shae whas heeyah, shae wudt neva ahct tha way yuu awhr.”
I raised my fuming head, yeah. I raised it to her level. Silence kissed the air, yeah. I fixed my crying eyes crossly on her bloodless face. I wanted to kill her just like she said I would. I wanted to kill her. I wanted her to feel my ire, feel my unhappiness. I wanted to squeeze the ignorance out of her. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to go away. I wanted her to die. I stood up.
“Shut up.” I said.
“Wuh?”
“Shut the fuck up! You don’t know her, get me? Don’t talk about her like that you…you…fool!”
Her eyes lit up like she was happy to see me.
“She was my sister and never your daughter. You treated her like the same piece of shit you’ve been treating me as, get me? You hurt me, get me?! You kill me everyday, get me?! You bother me! You anger me! You sadden me, your own daughter. Since I was 7 bloody years old, all you’ve ever done is push me away. You think my dad has been poisoning my mind? It’s been you who has! You’ve pushed me so far away that I’ve fallen off the edge! And you marvel about Amy’s demise…it was you who killed her, not herself! You did it!”
I shouted.I didn’t wait for her, seen? I put my ragged trainers on. I bussed out the room and out into the world.